Unselfish Certainty

I love my cousin, Debbie. She's a distant cousin who we didn't get to know until about 20 years ago, but she's a part of the family now.

Debbie is whip-smart, funny and down to earth. We played a question/answer game the other night when the family got together for a mid-winter gathering. The thought provoking questions made most of us pause and ponder to consider our answers. Debbie spit out her answers like rapid-fire bullets.

What would you try if you had no fear? Drugs.

Who would you trade places with for one month? Hilary Clinton.

If you could have front row seats to any concert who would you like to see? Elvis

Would you stop eating all junk food to live 5 years longer? No!

There are some smart people in my immediate family. Eight of the nine brothers and sisters have advanced degrees, and there is a doctor, a couple of lawyers, a couple of writers, an artist, and a few successful business folks. There's not a slouch in the bunch, but none of us can hold a candle to Debbie in the brains department. Being with her is stimulating and always entertaining; add the size of her heart into the equation and you've got a formidable force.

Debbie is about to launch her youngest child, who heads off to college in the fall. Yet her parenting days are not over. In early summer, she will take over raising three of her sister's children, ages 8. 10, and 12. These are children who have been brought up so differently than she would have brought them up--no formal schooling, little in the way of resources, fundamentalist parents--that it will be an adjustment for everyone. Her sister needs her help right now, and while Debbie is mourning the loss of her empty nest opportunity, she hasn't a selfish bone in her body. Of course these children will be welcome in her home. Of course she will love them and keep them safe and do her best for them. She's quite sure we would all do the same,she says.

She is probably right, but it is the certainty that she packs into her words that makes me believe it to be true. It is that certainty that she brings when she answers a question or shares an opinion, that she applied to her life when she went to medical school while raising two little girls with her husband, Jeff. Part of her success as a physician, wife and mother is due to her clear minded thinking, to her ability to see her way forward.

And so, with certainty, she is the one stepping up, rearranging her life and opening her heart and home for three more children.

I love my cousin Debbie. . .